some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
