There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
