but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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