I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
