It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
