it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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