Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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