really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
