My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
