his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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