More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
