We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
