If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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