I'm going to jail i love you
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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