yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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