You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
