saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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