Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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