OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
