He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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