i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
