I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
