Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
