Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
