I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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