i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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