I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
