When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
