Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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