all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
