Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
