yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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