he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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