he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
