i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
