i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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