so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
