Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
