Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
