guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
