What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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