He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
