I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
