Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize