You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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