I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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