Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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