Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
