first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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