Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Bring me that man meat
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
